


Decision at Deneva

by Jane Jones (raynewton)



Category: Star Trek: Mirror Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 08:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12186204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynewton/pseuds/Jane%20Jones
Summary: Mirror version of Operation Annihilate





	Decision at Deneva

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in Mirror Reflections

Decision at Deneva

by Jane Jones

aka Ray Newton

  
"Sheep? SHEEP?" Leonard McCoy's voice was unusually high-pitched with indignation "Do you mean to tell me that Starfleet Command have diverted an Imperial Starship to some god-forsaken, backwater colony to count sheep?"

  
"Not Starfleet Command, Doctor." Kirk indicated the seal on the tape. "This is an Imperial Directive - the personal command of the Emperor."

  
"But... sheep..."

  
"Rather special sheep, Doctor." For once taking pity on McCoy's indignant bewilderment, Spock condescended to explain. "The rayno are a native species of the planet Deneva, designated as an agricultural colony of minor importance. The settlers found the beasts to be docile and easily domesticated; in the first years of the colony they were a valued source of food. The flesh is considered a great delicacy, I am told, and other uses quickly became apparent; the fleece can be spun and woven into a fabric finer than Areelian silk, and the hide produces a very beautiful leather.

  
"The present Emperor visited Deneva during his tour as Heir, not long after the foundation of the colony; he saw the potential, and took a personal interest in the development of the herds. Deneva is now an Imperial Preserve - the Administrator reports directly to the Emperor, who follows the breeding of the rayno closely - and trade in the flesh, fleece and hides is an Imperial monopoly."

  
"Begins to make a kind of sense," McCoy grunted. "So what's the problem?"

"I don't know," Kirk admitted. "There's been trouble of some kind with the herds, and the Administrator appealed to the Emperor for assistance. We'll be briefed when we get there, but I'm to render any assistance requested."

  
"Do you know anything about the Administrator?" Spock asked.

  
"As a matter of fact, yes." Kirk leaned back in his chair. "His name's Sam Kirk - he's my brother. Not that it's much help - I haven't seen him since he was posted there... oh... ten years ago now. Our contact has always been minimal - we never did get on too well. I do know he's married, though, with a son; Peter must be about twelve now.

  
"Spock, I want you to beam down with me in the morning - no point in a full landing party until we know what the problem is. Doctor, if the Medical Department is involved, Mr Spock will brief you when we return." Kirk rose. "Goodnight, gentlemen."

***

  
The following morning, after receiving official permission from the Administrator of Deneva, Kirk and Spock beamed down to the coordinates provided. Somewhat to the Vulcan's surprise - and to Kirk's - they materialised in front of a low, pleasant ranch style house, rather than in the official complex they had automatically expected. A Human wearing the elaborate uniform of an Imperial Administrator stood waiting to greet them.

  
"Hello, Jim. Hope you don't mind having the briefing here. I know your time is valuable, and the problem is urgent, but I'd prefer to have my people think this is a purely family visit - at least for the moment. I do have all the information you need in my office here."  
"That'll be fine, Sam." Kirk shook hands awkwardly. "I'd like you to meet my First Officer, Commander Spock. Mr Spock, my brother Sam."

  
"Commander." The older man nodded pleasantly, but did not offer to shake hands.

  
Prejudice or knowledge? Spock wondered.

 

Giving in to his curiosity, Spock studied the man covertly. A few years older than the Captain, he had none of his brother's almost hypnotic charm. He had the same stocky build, but his face was pleasant rather than beautiful, his eyes smaller, his hair a dull brown - he seemed like a smudged copy of a perfect portrait. Yet there was a serenity in his eyes that his brother lacked - an unusual quality in one who had risen so high in the Imperial Service.

  
"Business first, I think," the Administrator said, leading them into a well-equipped office that seemed out of keeping with the private residence. "You'll want to get your people started, Jim," he continued, indicating seats, "and it is a matter of some urgency. Suppose I give you an outline of the problem, then while your Science Officer is setting up his team, you and I can talk privately."

  
"That sounds fine. Go ahead, Sam. Commander Spock is also my Science Officer."

  
"Right." Sam Kirk glanced at the Vulcan. "About five years ago we began to notice a small but steadily rising increase in the death rate among the rayno. We eventually traced the cause to a corresponding increase in the numbers of a leech-like parasite that preys on the beasts. We'd always known about it, but the infestation wasn't really all that much of a problem; the rayno lived and bred normally.

  
"Now though, the parasites seem to have changed. They're multiplying much more quickly, and now they kill their hosts, usually within a few months; they then seem to infect another host. If the rate of infestation continues to increase, the herds will be seriously at risk."

  
"You have, of course, attempted to eradicate the parasite?" Spock asked.

  
"Naturally, Commander, but without success. Nothing we know seems to kill it, and when we attempted surgical removal, we killed the host. Look here."

  
Sam rose and snapped on a wall screen. It showed a close-up of a rayno with a parasite clinging to its neck, a small, harmless-looking blob of dark coloured jelly. The image changed to a diagram.

  
"See here - and here." Sam's finger indicated faint lines that burrowed through the rayno's flesh. "The leech fastens itself on with powerful suckers, then these filaments burrow through the flesh to fasten around the spinal cord. At any attempt to remove the parasite, the tentacles tighten, snapping the cord. We tried everything - there's no way to avoid it. The leech can't be sedated, and however we operate it seems to be aware it's being attacked; we have evidence that if the attempt to remove the creature is halted in time, the tentacles will loosen - it's as though the creature is using the threat to the host as a defensive measure. Even phaser fire doesn't affect the creature, except at killing force - and that, of course, also destroys the host. We may be forced to kill and burn every rayno on the planet, and begin again using the frozen embryos we have in storage - but unless we can also come up with a way of destroying the leeches, we'll just be wasting our time."

  
"Quite a problem," Kirk commented. "But why send for a Starship?"

Sam resumed his seat. "We've exhausted our resources, and the experts sent out from Earth couldn't help. The problem is becoming really serious, Jim. We've just started lambing, and the infestation rate is increasing every day. I appealed directly to the Emperor, and he arranged for the Enterprise to be called in - it seems your Science Officer has quite a reputation in certain circles. Look, I know this probably doesn't sound very important to you, but anything the Emperor takes a personal interest in immediately becomes top priority."

  
"Yeah, I know." Kirk glanced enquiringly at the Vulcan. "Well, Spock?"

  
"I require more data, Captain. Administrator, you will open your records to me, and you will instruct your colonists to do likewise. Captain, I propose to establish a base here on Deneva. I will need samples, specimens... But my staff know how to proceed."  
"Go ahead," Kirk nodded. "I'll stay down here for a while - Sam and I have a lot to talk about."

  
"Just ask for anything you need, Commander." Sam escorted the Vulcan to the door. "We're all anxious to cooperate to the fullest." When the door had closed behind Spock, Sam turned back to his brother. "A Vulcan, Jim?"

  
Kirk shrugged. "You get used to him. And he is the best."

  
"If you say so." Sam looked unconvinced, then he grinned. "Come and meet Aurelan and Peter - a couple of cheerful faces for a change."

  
He linked his arm in his brother's as Kirk rose. "There have been changes since we last met, Jim."  
***  
To his surprise Kirk found himself enjoying the quiet family meal. He had met Aurelan before, and had not been impressed with her cool, brittle sophistication. Here, in her own home, she seemed warmer, somehow, and her obvious affection for her husband and son was as startling as it was unexpected.

  
Peter, a sturdy boy of twelve, looked very much as Sam had at that age. He had a direct, open curiosity that made him refreshingly different from the too-old children of Earth, and he immediately exhibited a tendency to hero-worship his glamorous uncle, plying Kirk with endless questions over the meal, and extracting the promise of a visit to the Enterprise.

  
At last Sam took pity on his brother, and ordered his son to bed; Aurelan withdrew with him, leaving the brothers alone to talk.

  
"More brandy, Jim?" Sam poured a generous measure for them both. "Let's go and sit on the verandah - it's pleasant there in the evenings." They sat quietly sipping their drinks until Sam spoke again. "Surprised, Jim? Not quite what you expected?"  
"No, it's not. I remember the plans you had, the ambition. Yet you seem... content."

  
"I am. We got out in time, Aurelan and I." Sam leaned back in his chair. "Oh, at first I thought it was something of a demotion, being sent to a backwater colony like this. The only thing that made it bearable was the amount of personal interest the Emperor takes - it kept me under his eye. If I did a good job hete, I'd have my pick when reassignment came round.

  
"Then, after a couple of years, I knew I didn't want to leave. Aurelan and I talked it over, and she admitted she felt the same. Our marriage had been shaky before we came here, and we'd been having problems with Peter's health. Suddenly we all felt... well, we felt at home here. We made friends. When I was asked to opt for reassignment, I chose to remain here. The Emperor was pleased, so the Service made no objection... they were only too pleased that someone actually wanted this assignment. I built this house, started a small herd of my own, and when I retire I'll stay on here."

  
"What about those ambitions?" Kirk asked curiously. "You had your eye on the Chancellorship at one time. Don't you want it any more?"

  
"No, I don't." Sam laughed softly. "I've got my wife back, my son is strong and healthy, I have a home, friends... Not much by some standards, I know, but it's what I want. What have you got, Jim?" His tone softened the question, reflecting concern rather than the sneer that had in the past so often lurked in his brother's voice.

  
"I've got the Enterprise." Kirk lifted his head arrogantly. "I have power - the power I always wanted."

  
"But aren't you lonely? Don't you ever feel the need for someone at your side? Someone who stays out of love, not duty?"

  
"I don't need that." Kirk's eyes narrowed. Not even to this new Sam would he admit the forbidden longings that pulled at him. "I'll never give anyone that sort of hold over me. But... " His voice softened. "I'm glad you found what you wanted, Sam. Now I'd better be getting back to my ship."

  
The two men rose, and Sam reached out to hug his brother. "We'll see each other again while you're here. It's good for Peter to talk to you - I hope he decides to remain on Deneva, but I want him to know about his other options. And I want us to get to know each other again - we've a lot of lost years to make up for. You will come, Jim?"

  
"Yes, I'll come." Kirk opened his communicator, signalling for beam up.

  
***

  
The next few days passed quietly for Kirk as Spock and his team began the collection of data on the parasite. There was nothing for him to do, and although he enjoyed his evenings with Sam, Aurelan and Peter, the prospect of weeks of inaction was not pleasant; he was therefore relieved when an urgent message from Starfleet Command brought him the action he was beginning to crave.

  
The excitement sparkling in the hazel eyes brought an inaudible sigh to Spock's lips as he entered Kirk's cabin in response to his summons; he recognised the signs only too well - why was it that only the prospect of danger brought that flush of pleasure to Kirk's face?

  
"Sorry, Spock, I'm going to have to leave you here," Kirk said. "Orion raiders have been causing trouble in the Draconis sector, and we've been ordered to destroy them. There's no reason to disrupt your research here, though; make sure you have everything you need, and we'll pick you up when we've finished the job."

  
Spock frowned. "I do not approve of you going into danger without me, and yet the Emperor must be served. Perhaps there is something I can do...

  
"Jim... " The deep voice softened. "Will you accept a gift from me?"

 

"A gift?" Kirk looked puzzled. "I don't...." He broke off as the door buzzer sounded. "Now who the hell can that be?"

  
"It is Stev'v. I took the liberty of summoning him here. Will you admit him?"

  
Kirk studied the dark eyes suspiciously, then slowly nodded, reaching for the door release, repressing a shudder as Stev'v walked in. He had always considered himself free from any weakness, any foolish compassion, but he had once seen this man question a prisoner at Spock's bidding, and the memory had never left him.

  
To his surprise, the Vulcan came forward and knelt at his feet, his cold eyes fixed on the Human's face. He extended his hands, and Spock came forward to place an unsheathed knife across his palms. Stev'v bowed his head, the knife raised in offering.

  
"To the t'hy'la of my liege lord, I pledge my life and my honour." Stev'v's voice was flat and harsh, contrasting oddly with Spock's smooth tones. "As I serve my lord I serve thee, and my zer'hain likewise. If I or they break this oath, may the blade of our clan take my life in shame and dishonour."

  
Startled, Kirk said nothing as Stev'v rose, bowed to him and to Spock, returned the knife to the First Officer, and left the room with his usual silent tread. Only when the door had closed behind him did Kirk turn to Spock.

"What was that all about?"

  
"An additional... safeguard for you, a gift of Vulcan. My personal guard will protect you as they protect me - and unlike your Human guards, they cannot be swayed or corrupted. Stev'v has sworn loyalty to you in the name of his zer'hain - his fellow servants; should any one of them fail in his duty, his closest kin would slay him."

  
"Servants? But they're Starfleet Officers."

  
"Vulcan does not yield all of its secrets, Captain. My operatives are all sworn to the service of my House - their first loyalty is to me, not to the Empire or to Starfleet. Now they serve you, also."

  
At last Kirk dared to ask the question that really troubled him. "He called me your t'hy'la. You told me that means..."

  
"Friend. Brother. Lover. Friend and brother you are, as you proved at my marriage. But my lover... " He shrugged. "Were you that, Stev'v's oath would be unnecessary. Since you cannot grant me the right to protect my bondmate, grant me at least the right to safeguard my brother."

  
"I... Thank you, Spock." Kirk turned away, unwilling to reveal how much it pleased him that Spock cared enough to offer this. "I accept. I certainly trust your men more than my own."  
"Then it is well. Stev'v will watch over you since I cannot." Kirk heard the satisfaction in the deep voice, but he did not see the flash of triumph in the dark eyes. Spock had planned for this, to have the Human under his protection while at the same time offering a further assurance of his loyalty. He had not given up hope of winning his desired mate. Kirk had rejected him, but it was a minor setback, he considered; this act of apparent friendship would reinforce Kirk's trust in him - and Spock wanted Kirk badly enough to take no chances with the Human's safety until he had the right to guard him as his mate.

  
But for now, enough. He must not move too quickly. Keep the mood light, build the trust the closeness. Send Kirk off, entrusting him to another. And wait. He moved forward.  
"May random factors operate in your favour, Captain."

  
"Thank you, Spock. I can't help wishing you were going to be with me. Still, a successful operation against the Orions, and your success here, will bring us to the notice of the Emperor. That can't be bad."

  
"Indeed. I shall have the answer for you on your return." The Vulcan hesitated, then reached out to touch Kirk's shoulder. "T'hy'la... have a care."

  
Kirk permitted the fleeting gesture. "And you, Spock," he said lightly, enjoying the touch of the warm hand. It was... pleasant to know that the Vulcan cared. If only... but no; it was too much to give. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised.

 

***

  
The destruction of the Orion raiders took longer than Kirk had expected; and it was over two months before the Enterprise again settled into orbit around Deneva. Kirk signalled Uhura to open communications. "Enterprise to Commander Spock. Kirk here."

  
"Spock, Captain."

 

"Well, we made it. A little late, but we're here. I'll be right down."

  
  
"A moment, Captain. I suggest that you and Dr McCoy beam down alone. Have no contact with Denevan Control. Come directly to these coordinates, and wear life support belts."

 

"Life support belts? What do we need them for?"

  
"Please, Captain, do as I ask." For the first time Kirk noticed the tension in Spock's voice. "I will explain when I see you. Trust me in this."

  
"Very well. I'll be with you in ten minutes. Kirk out." Closing the channel, he activated the intercom. "Dr McCoy to the Transporter Room. Bring two life support belts with you. Mr Sulu, you have the con. No-one is to beam down, or to contact Deneva, without my order. Understood?"

"Understood, sir."

Kirk rose from the chair and headed for the turbolift, followed - as he had been for the past few weeks - by Stev'v. The Vulcan's expressionless eyes met his.

  
"Captain, perhaps I should accompany you."

 

  
"That won't be necessary, Stev'v. McCoy's reliable, and Commander Spock will meet me. I can hardly run into any danger."

  
"As you wish, sir."

  
McCoy was waiting in the Transporter Room. "Why the belts, Captain?" he asked, handing one to Kirk.

  
"You can ask Spock when you see him - it was his idea. Better put it on, McCoy." Kirk fastened the belt around his waist, flicking the switch to trigger the glowing force-field. "Spock always has a reason for what he does, and I'm not taking any chances." He nodded to Kyle. "Energise."

  
The two men materialised in the office Sam had assigned for Spock's use. The Vulcan was seated at the desk, fingers steepled before him. Computer consoles blinked silently in the background, and the whole scene was so normal that Kirk relaxed, until he realised that the Vulcan had not risen to greet him, as was his custom. There was an eerie silence in the building, too, with none of the quietly efficient activity so characteristic of Spock's well-trained staff.

  
"Spock!" Kirk's voice held a sharp note of anxiety. "What's this all about? Where are your people?"

  
"Dead, most of them."

  
"Dead? How?"

  
"I killed them.

"  
Kirk moved forward until his force-field crackled against the desk. "You killed them?" he repeated. "I don't understand..."

 

  
"Please listen to me, Captain." Spock's voice was rough with fatigue, and the dark eyes that rose to meet his were heavy with exhaustion. "The situation here is... extremely dangerous. I do not know how long I will remain rational...

  
He swayed in his seat as he spoke, and Kirk, forgetting the barrier of the life support belt, moved forward to support him. The Vulcan's eyes widened, and he shrank back.

  
"Do not approach me, Captain. I do not know how effective a protection the belts will be. You must hear me out, and then leave quickly."

  
"What is it, Spock?"

  
"Have you contacted your... the Administrator since you returned?"

  
"No, I haven't."

  
"That is well. I suggest that you do not. I also ask that Dr McCoy monitor my reactions as I explain - I have little proof to offer that a layman would understand without long analysis; there is no time for that, and you must believe that I am telling the truth."  
"McCoy, do as he says." Kirk waited until McCoy indicated that he was ready, then turned back to the Vulcan. "Get on with it, Spock."

  
"Captain, shortly after the Enterprise left Deneva, I began to receive the first reports of the leeches infecting colonists. At first, only those who worked directly with the herds; later, all were vulnerable." The Vulcan indicated a tape on the desk. "My complete report is there, but to summarise...

 

"The leeches have a communal intelligence. Until the establishment of the colony, they merely survived, one life-form among many on this world. The arrival of an intelligent host was an opportunity they did not miss.

  
"They... control, Captain. To gain relief from the pain they inflict, the host obeys. There is a limited telepathic communication between the parasite and its victim; they can at once give orders, and enforce obedience.

  
"Lieutenant Myson was the first of my staff to be affected. I attempted removal of the parasite, but as Administrator Kirk warned, the attempt resulted in the Lieutenant's death. Gradually, more and more of my staff were affected, even the Vulcans. Telepathic intervention proved useless - the parasite reacted to any mental interference as to a physical threat, killing the host.

  
"As more of our people and the colonists came under their control, the leeches grew in knowledge. They learned of our Starships, and of the worlds of the Empire - a rich new breeding ground for them. It was their intention to take over the crew of the Enterprise when you returned - you would beam down, suspecting nothing, and would at once be infected.

  
"The colonists have few ships, and these I was able to destroy; my own staff attempted to prevent me, and I was forced to kill them. I then barricaded myself in here, used a jamming frequency to restrict all communications but my own, and awaited your return. I have been forced to hold off several attacks from the infected colonists - I do not believe that there is anyone on Deneva now who is not under the control of the leeches.

  
"Captain, you must inform Starfleet Command of the danger that exists here. If the creatures succeed in leaving the planet, the entire Empire is at risk. They must be stopped, Captain - at whatever cost."

  
Kirk swallowed. "How do you know all this, Spock, if you've been shut up in here?" he asked quietly.

  
The Vulcan made no answer in words. Unwinding the black scarf from his neck he leaned forward, turning his head to reveal the shapeless, almost colourless mass clinging to the back of his neck.

  
"As I said, the creatures have a limited telepathic ability. It is like a communal mind. Being myself infected, I am... aware... of the whole. I know them, Captain, and the danger they represent."

  
"Why haven't they killed you, then?" Kirk's voice was hard with suspicion. "If they know you're a danger to them, why didn't that... thing... kill you to stop you warning me?"

  
Spock sighed, and at the expression in the dark eyes Kirk suddenly felt ashamed.

  
"Even now you doubt me, t'hy'la," the Vulcan said softly. "It is merely that my shields are strong enough - for the moment - to conceal my thoughts and actions from them. The creature that infects me is cut off from its fellows, but since it perceives no threat to its own well-being, it is not motivated to attack me. The mind is powerful, however, and I do not know how much longer I can block my thoughts. It has been three weeks... and when my control fails I will become as much a slave as any of the other victims. I can continue for a little longer, and I will be able to warn you when my control begins to fail, but there is little time, t'hy'la. This only do I ask of you - when I do warn you, destroy me - I will not live at the bidding of another. But while I can, I will continue to serve you; will you not give me your trust?"

  
"Spock... " Swallowing a painful lump in his throat Kirk reached out across the desk, drawing his hand back as the glow of the force-field reminded him that there could be no contact between them. "I can't even touch you," he said bitterly. "We can't link, I suppose?"

  
"I will not risk it. Contact with me will give the creature access to your mind. I have survived until now in order to warn you - I will not risk harm to you."

 

Spock stood and came round the desk, facing Kirk, who rose to meet him. "Return to the Enterprise, Captain. You have decisions to make. I regret that I will not be at your side as you make them."

  
Forgetting McCoy's presence, Kirk met the dark eyes, his mouth set into a determined line. "I won't abandon you," he promised. "There has to be a way... and I'll find it."

  
"Not this time, I think, t'hy'la," Spock said gently."

  
Without taking his eyes from the Vulcan's face Kirk reached for his communicator. "Kirk to Enterprise - two to beam up. I'll find it," he repeated quietly. "I'll be in touch, I promise. Wait for me. Energise, Mr Kyle."

  
"I will wait," Spock murmured as the two men vanished in the transporter beam. "I will wait because you ask it, t'hy'la... but there will be no more miracles."

 

***

  
On their return to the Enterprise McCoy headed for his lab to check out Spock's tape, while Kirk made directly for the Bridge. His first act was to order Uhura to monitor any communications with Deneva, but on no account to acknowledge any attempt to contact the ship, unless the computer confirmed that the call was from Spock. At least, he mused, the colonists - and thus the parasitical life-form - would have no way of knowing that the Enterprise had returned. He had a little more time - a very little.  
Routine matters detained him on the Bridge for some time, and when at last he could turn the con over to Sulu again, he headed for Sickbay almost at a run, erupting into McCoy's office.

  
"McCoy, have you...?" The question died. on his lips as the tired eyes lifted to his. His shoulders slumped in defeat. "Nothing?"

  
"Nothing." McCoy gestured angrily at the viewer. "His research was thorough, as you'd expect. There's no way to remove the creatures without killing the host. It's an automatic response to any threat - and they must have learned by now that the threat alone discourages any interference. Spock's as good as dead, Jim."

  
"No!" Kirk's cry of denial was instinctive, not rational; he knew it, and the knowledge darkened the hazel eyes. "I promised him... There must be something you can do."

  
"There isn't. Don't you think I haven't looked for any chance, no matter how slight? All you can do for him now is the one thing he asked of you - kill him before his control breaks. If you don't he'll be like the others, a will-less slave controlled by pain beyond your imagination. I've seen the readings he took of some of the victims. There's nothing we can do - for any of them."

  
"Do you think all the colonists are affected?"

  
"I can't be certain, but given the speed with which the infestation has been spreading, it seems likely."

  
"So we can't evacuate the colony?"

  
"We daren't risk it - there's no way of telling who's infected without removing the life support belts, because the field distorts the readings, and anyone going near an infected colonist, or even beaming down unprotected, runs the risk of falling victim.

  
"But Jim, I do know this... if even one leech gets loose on this ship, we risk spreading the infection throughout the Empire. It must be contained here."

  
"How about quarantine? Could we isolate the planet and leave them there?"

  
"I don't think we can risk that either. Spock is resisting for the moment, but he said himself his shields will go eventually. I got those readings on him while you were talking, remember, and even through the distortion I could measure the pain that filthy thing is inflicting on him. The man's going through hell, Jim. And if it's like that for a Vulcan, can you even begin to imagine what the colonists are suffering?"

  
"Sam? Peter? Aurelan?"

  
"I'm afraid we have to assume so. We have a little time, that's all. The creatures want to get off the planet, and when they realise we're not coming back, they'll redouble their attack on Spock. They'll break him eventually... and when they do, he'll help them, repair the colony ships... he'll have no choice."

  
"And neither do I." Kirk's voice was toneless

.  
"You've heard from Starfleet Command?"

  
"Yes. My orders are that rather than risk the leeches spreading off-world, I'm to destroy Deneva and everyone on it."

  
"Dear god!" McCoy's shoulders slumped. "All those people... "

  
"I don't care about them." Kirk's eyes were hard, but his voice shook slightly. "All I care about is that Sam, and Peter, and Aurelan... the last of my family, Bones... are down there, and I can't save them.

  
"I've been told to kill them. Well, I can do that. I can. But Spock... my t'hy'la - the friend I trust with my life, the brother I chose, my... I've got to kill him, too."

  
"And you'll do it."

  
"Oh yes, I'll do it. But what does that make me, Bones?" The cold eyes were shining, and McCoy shivered at the sight of this hard, arrogant, unfeeling man on the verge of tears. "What does that make me, Bones?" Kirk continued in a whisper. "The only man I ever learned to trust, and I'm going to kill him."

  
"It's what he wants. He trusts you to do it." Clumsily, McCoy offered the only comfort he could. "Dammit, he's a Vulcan. Can you imagine the soul-deep revulsion, the sense of defilement he feels at the thought of being mind-controlled? It's... merciful, Jim. For all of them."

  
"I've got to believe that, haven't I?" All trace of tears had vanished; the strong mask, as controlled as Spock's in its own way, was back in place. "There's one more thing, though, Bones, and it's up to you."

  
"What's that?"

  
"The rayno. They're more important to the Emperor than the colonists. Sam mentioned the frozen embryos - an insurance policy against disease striking the herd. The Emperor wants the canisters retrieved so he can re-establish the herd. You'll know what's wanted, so..."

  
"I'll go." McCoy rose. "When...?

"  
"As soon as you're back on board."

  
"Wait here. I won't be long."

 

***

 

Spock stood and came round the desk, facing Kirk, who rose to meet him. "Return to the Enterprise, Captain. You have decisions to make. I regret that I will not be at your side as you make them."

  
After McCoy's departure Kirk paced the office nervously. He'd call Spock later, just before he gave the order for the destruction of Deneva, but Sam... He had to know... to be certain... His brother must know what was happening to his people If he asked for help, that would be proof that he was not infected, and he could be beamed aboard...

  
Before he could change his mind Kirk seated himself at the desk, reached for the intercom, and had Uhura connect him with the Administrator's office. As his brother's face formed on the screen he made himself smile cheerfully

.  
"Hi, Sam - we're back. Sorry we've been so long. And I'm afraid communications are shot to hell - this could be a very short call. I can't contact my First Officer - do you have any idea where he is?"

  
Kirk held his breath. If Sam was unaffected, now he would explain, ask for help... His heart sank as his brother grinned in response. "Could be out on a field trip, I suppose. I'll see if any of my people can locate him for you."

  
"Fine. We've got some damage to repair up here, and I've got a lot on my plate right now, but I should be able to beam down in about an hour, if that's okay."

  
"Sure, Jim. Oh, you will remember about our trip to the Enterprise, won't you? Peter's been looking forward to it, and I must admit I have, too."

  
"We'll fix a time when I see you."

  
Had it not been for Spock's warning Kirk knew he would have suspected nothing from his brother's manner. "Sam, I'm glad we got together again," he said quietly, speaking to whatever remained of his brother.

  
"So'm I," Sam grinned, and with those words Kirk put out of his mind that he was kin to this man - from now on he was a threat to be destroyed. "See you later, Jim."

  
Sam broke contact, and Kirk leaned back with a sigh.

  
In the service of the Empire he had killed many times, and would again, but these were his own people - all that remained of his family. For years that hadn't been important; now... it could make no difference - duty came before any ties of love or friendship.  
Any ties? For he would lose not only a half-forgotten brother, but also the man he had learned so painfully to... love. Yes, he loved Spock. Oh, there were many problems, unresolved conflicts, seemingly irreconcilable demands of culture, but the feeling was there between them, sure and certain as nothing else in his life. Until now there had been hope - that his own attitude would change, the Spock's would - but now, with one order, he would destroy both his past and his future.

 

To lose Spock...

 

"Jim, I've got them. No problems - there wasn't even a guard on... What's wrong, for god's sake? You look like hell!"

  
Kirk blinked, emerging from his absorption as McCoy bustled into the office; the blue eyes were genuinely concerned, and the unconcealed emotion warmed him - a little.

  
"I was just talking to Sam," he said tonelessly. "Don't worry, I didn't give anything away. Well, if you've got all you need, there's no reason to delay. I was going to talk to Spock one last time, but what can I tell him? This way... " He shrugged. "He won't know." Slowly, he reached for the intercom.

  
"Jim, wait." McCoy caught his arm. "Is there nothing else you can do?

"  
"You tell me, Bones." Kirk allowed his weariness to show. "I've been given a direct order - destroy the planet, and all infected personnel. You said it yourself - if even one of those... things... escapes, they'll spread. Can you risk this happening again? They must be wiped out - and that includes their hosts."

  
"Even Spock?"

  
"Even Spock." There was despair in Kirk's voice, but it was overlaid with determination. Looking up, he held the troubled gaze, and allowed his own grief to show. "I'd save him if I could - you know that, don't you?"

  
McCoy nodded. "Yes, I know. And I keep telling myself - even if we brought him aboard there's nothing I can do for him. If I try to remove the leech, it'll kill him - or if his control fails he'll be enslaved by it. He'd prefer death. Now all I have to do is make myself believe it."

  
"We have to believe it," Kirk said quietly. Then, deliberately, he pulled` the cold mask of command over his too-revealing face. The hazel eyes were hard again, his hand steady, as he keyed the intercom.

  
"Captain to Bridge. Mr Sulu?"

  
"Sulu, Captain."

 

"Arm photon torpedoes. Plot a strike pattern over Deneva. Objective - disintegration of the plat."

  
"Calculating now, sir."

  
"Notify me on completion. Fire only on my order."

  
"Acknowledged."

  
Kirk snapped off the intercom and leaned back in his chair. Fragments of memory slipped through his mind, teasing him, hinting that there was something he had missed, something important...

  
"Jim?"

  
"Quiet, Bones."

  
He almost had it... if only he could-remember... 'Composite mind'... that was the clue...

  
Yes, a chance! So fragile, but offering hope for one... for one, out of all the population of Deneva...

  
Kirk bit back a groan as he realised the magnitude of the decision he must make. He'd played god before, and it hadn't troubled him, but this was just too close to home.

  
Sam, his brother, and a new beginning for both of them.

  
Aurelan, warm and beautiful.

  
Peter, a child, his whole life before him.

  
And Spock.

  
Turning, his eyesight strangely blurred, he caught McCoy's shoulder. "Bones, get to surgery. You're going to operate. You'll have to work fast, and in total secrecy. Hurry - there's not much time!"

  
McCoy blinked at the terse orders, but moved quickly to obey - there was something in Kirk's face that told him delay would be unwise.

  
***

  
Kirk took off at a run, heading for the Transporter Room. Kyle looked up in surprise as the Captain burst in.

  
"Sir?"

  
"Out!"

  
Kyle took one look at the impassive Stev'v, who, as so often now, was at Kirk's shoulder, and obeyed with relief - whatever was going on, he wanted no part of it.

  
"Stev'v, take the controls. Lock onto Commander Spock and energise on my order."

  
As the Vulcan moved to obey, Kirk opened his communicator. "Kirk to Spock."

  
"Spock here, Captain."

  
"Spock, are you shielded still?"

  
"Yes, sir."

  
Kirk hesitated. If the alien had control, how would he know? But he had to take the chance.

  
"Spock, I'm going to beam you up. Stand by."

  
"Sir, that is hardly wise... "

  
"Shut up!" Kirk turned to Stev'v. "You know what's happened to the Commander?"

  
"Yes, sir."

  
"There's one chance - a very small one - to save him. But I can't take any risks. I may have to kill him."

  
"Sir, my lord has contacted me. I understand. I will obey you."

  
"Then energise - now!"

  
Kirk caught his breath as the transporter effect solidified into the form of his First Officer. Spock looked so normal, so in control, that it was easy to believe that nothing was wrong. Then as the Vulcan turned he saw the swelling under the black scarf, and the sour taste of vomit burned in his throat. Quickly, he drew his phaser.

  
"Spock, we're going directly to Sickbay. Keep in front of me, and don't make any sudden moves. I swear I'll kill you myself if I have to, so don't make me do it!"

  
"Captain, this is dangerous." Spock made no attempt to leave the transporter platform. "Return me to Deneva, and do what you must. I will not risk your life."

  
"There's one chance, and I'm taking it - for both of us. Move!" Kirk gestured with the phaser. "Please," he added quietly.

  
The Vulcan could not refuse the unaccustomed appeal in the hazel eyes. He stepped down and moved to the door, nodding a greeting to Stev'v as he passed.

  
"Wait." Kirk thought for a moment. "Stev'v, go ahead of us. Clear the corridor."

  
The Vulcan left, and after a moment Kirk and Spock followed, moving through empty corridors until at last they reached Sickbay.

 

"Remain on guard, Stev'v," Kirk ordered. "No-one is to enter without my permission."

  
"Yes, sir." The Vulcan stood back to allow the two men to pass through, then took up his station.

  
McCoy was waiting for them. "Spock! Thank god!"

  
"On the table, Spock." Kirk held the phaser steady. "Bones, once you start you'll have to move fast - I don't know how long you'll have. Begin on my order. Both of you - if anything goes wrong, I'll kill Spock at once. Is that clear?"

  
"Perfectly, Captain." The Vulcan's voice was serene.

  
"Jim, what's going on? You know I can't... "

  
"Explanations later, Bones. Get ready." Without taking his eyes from the Vulcan, who had placed himself on the table, Kirk reached for the intercom which had buzzed for his attention. "Kirk here."

  
"Sulu, Captain. Strike pattern plotted and laid in, sir. All phasers trained on target."

 

"Put the planet on screen."

 

The image of Deneva formed, a cool, blue, tranquil world that hid horror beneath its beauty.

  
"Stand by, Sulu... Fire!"

  
Almost instantly the perfect globe on the screen was overlaid by the flames of hell as the deadly torpedoes found their targets, the weak points of the planet's crust. The corruption spread rapidly, searing the shining disc, and Kirk snapped a terse order. "Now, Bones! Get that thing off him!"

  
The surgeon was already at work, his hands moving with a sure speed. Kirk watched anxiously, sighing with relief as McCoy turned from the table, the shapeless mass gripped firmly in surgical forceps.

  
"I don't believe it! There was no resistance at all - it just slid out..."

  
"Drop it on the floor."

  
McCoy dropped the leech, and Kirk turned the phaser on it, holding the beam steady until all that was left was a smoking stain on the deck. Only then did Kirk allow himself to ask. "Spock?..."

  
"Unconscious, but alive. How did you know?"

  
"I didn't - that was the chance I took." Kirk sighed wearily. "Spock said the leeches have a composite mind - I hoped that the death throes of the race would so stun this individual that you'd have time to remove it before the kill reflex was triggered. Looks like I won the gamble."

  
"And lost it." McCoy's eyes moved to the screen, where the remains of Deneva swirled as a cloud of dust and rubble.

  
"And lost it." Kirk dropped the phaser, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Finish up here. I'm going to my quarters, and I don't want to be disturbed. Better get Spock out of here as soon as you can - I don't want anyone wondering why he's in Sickbay. As far as the rest of the crew are concerned, he never was infected. Got it?"

  
"Got it. But Jim... are you sure you should be alone right now?"

  
"It's what I need. Don't worry - I'm okay. Just take care of... him."

  
The door closed behind the stiff figure, and with a sigh of concern McCoy turned his attention to awakening Spock

.  
***

  
Kirk lay propped up against the pillows of his bed, a scarcely touched glass of brandy in his hand. He had returned to his quarters intending to get thoroughly drunk, but the first sip had told him that was not the answer. Alcohol could not warm the cold, empty place in his mind, could not blot out the pictures conjured by his too-vivid imagination.

  
What he had done on Deneva had been... necessary, but he shuddered at the memory. Then, with grim determination, he forced it away, burying it deep with all the other memories he could not bear to examine, locking it within his mind. It was the only way to serve the Empire and remain sane, he had learned long ago; no Starship Captain could afford the luxury of a conscience. Forget the past, and look only to the future.

  
But... what was his future? For the first time in his life that was a question he could not answer alone.

  
At last he rose, straightened his uniform, and stepped into the corridor, walking the few yards to Spock's door. Stev'v inclined his head in greeting.

  
"Has the Commander returned to his quarters?"

  
"Yes, sir." The Vulcan pressed the buzzer for him, then stepped back to allow him to pass as the door opened.

  
Kirk walked into the room, and Spock was waiting for him, the dark eyes watching him gravely.

  
"How are you, Spock?"

  
"I am well. It seems that I owe you my life. I am... grateful."

  
Kirk's eyes flickered away. "'You're welcome' is, I believe, the correct response," he replied, quoting Spock's own words of so long ago.

 

"Your orders must have been... distressing." There was something in Spock's voice the Human could not quite identify. "I grieve with thee for the loss of thy family."

  
"Yes." Kirk swung away and paced the room restlessly. At last he halted in front of Spock and lifted brooding eyes to the Vulcan's face. "I had a choice to make," he said tonelessly. "I could save one - only one. Sam, Aurelan, Peter... or you. I chose you. Was it the right choice?"

  
"I do not understand."

  
"I decided, coldly and deliberately, that my brother and his family should die. I killed... a child... to save you. I have to know that I didn't waste the chance."

  
"Jim..."

  
"Be quiet, and listen. If what I did has any meaning, any justification, it's that you're still alive. I saved you because I couldn't bear that you should die, that I'd lose you. So... " The hazel eyes clouded. "So I've got to make the most of you, haven't I? After what I've done, pride suddenly doesn't matter very much. If I can kill for you, I can live with you - by your rules." He reached out to touch the intent face. "If my submission is so important to you, if that's what it takes for us to be together... that's the way it has to be."

  
Spock said nothing, regarding him steadily, and fear darkened the golden eyes - if the Vulcan had changed his mind...

  
"Family's important on Vulcan, isn't it?" Kirk demanded harshly. "Does what I did make such a difference to you?" He could submit; he would not beg. Arrogantly he lifted his chin in a wilful gesture that at this moment was somehow very endearing.. "In that case," he said lightly, "I'd better go." God, don't let Spock guess how much it matters!

  
Spock moved closer, so close that Kirk could feel his body heat, but not quite close enough to touch. His hand rose to stroke the line of the Human's jaw.

  
"You know that I desire you," he murmured softly. "Are you certain, Jim? Remember, I am not one of your doll-women, to be used and cast aside when the game loses its savour. I am a Warrior of Vulcan - what I take, I hold."

  
"Perhaps that's what I want - what I need." There was an edge of desperation now in the Human's voice. "You're all I've got... and I want you... and I need you to want me... " Deliberately Kirk closed the final distance between them, pressing himself against the hard body. "Take me and teach me...I don't want to be alone any longer."

  
"T'hy'la." There was a gleam of triumph in the dark eyes, but mingled with it was a curious tenderness that made the Human long to feel its more open expression.  
There was still apprehension, for Kirk, who had never accepted defeat, had now bowed to the will of another; but somehow he knew that he was safe here in the powerful arms that closed around him, that he was cherished and loved with a fierce, possessive passion that verged on idolatry. This claim that was being made on him, which he had so feared to acknowledge, warmed his starved, lonely heart with the conviction that here was someone who cared; cared for him, Jim Kirk, not for the carefully-constructed image which Captain James T Kirk had for so long presented to the dangerous world he inhabited.

  
Kirk lifted his hands, pressing against the smooth fabric of Spock's tunic, resting his head against the Vulcan's shoulder. Lips brushed his hair.

  
"Are you afraid?"

"A little." Kirk felt safe enough to answer the question honestly. "I've never... been with a man... I've taken them, of course, but... "

  
"There is nothing to fear. I am not inexperienced in the way of a man with a man. I promise you pleasure, t'hy'la."

  
Kirk raised his head, searching the intent eyes; then, convinced, he nodded. Slowly his lips parted, and a warm mouth took his in a kiss that sent a shiver of longing through his body.

  
Instinctively his arms encircled the Vulcan's shoulders, pulling them closer together, and he felt disappointed when Spock lifted his head. A hand cupped his chin, and warm breath fanned his eyes, his mouth.

  
"Slowly, slowly," the Vulcan murmured, his voice like the purring of some great cat. "This is a pleasure to be savoured - I am no barbarian, to overwhelm you with my lust, beloved. You will burn, I promise you, before our bodies join, but the flames should be kindled slowly for the greatest pleasure."

  
"I want to do it right," Kirk confessed.

  
"I know. I will be your teacher. But you must teach me, Jim." The soft lips touched his face lightly. "I wish to learn how to please you. This is hard for you... it is your nature to command... yet I will show you the sweet joy of surrender, my companion... "

  
The deep hypnotic purr was soothing. Kirk stood with closed eyes, his will for the moment in abeyance, content just this once to feel another's mastery. It was not humiliating, as he had feared - at least, not yet, he told himself.

  
The gentle hand tilted his chin and a warm tongue traced the curve of his lips, lapping at the soft fullness. Shyly, he opened his mouth, giving tacit permission for further exploration; to his surprise Spock drew back a little, as though waiting.

  
Uncertain, Kirk opened his eyes. Both Spock's hands cupped his face now, and the dark eyes met his with a teasing challenge. Kirk licked his lips nervously, and the hungry gaze narrowed, focussing on the moist pink tongue.

  
Suddenly realising what Spock wanted of him, Kirk extended his tongue a little further, watching in fascination as Spock's reached to meet it. With a sensuous ease that was shockingly unexpected it coiled around his, wrapping it in rough heat; then it was in his mouth, touching, tasting, exploring with a delicate curiosity that he found intensely erotic. Kisses had never seemed important before, a means to an end, but this caress was a delight in itself. Obeying an impulse he could not fully explain Kirk sought out the welcome invader and sucked on it hungrily, enjoying the spicy alien flavour, feeling the warmth spread through him, settling at last into a throbbing pressure at his groin.

  
The hands left his face, and he was held only by the impossible sweetness of Spock's kiss. He knew that if he stepped away now Spock would let him go - but there would be no second chance, and he dared. not risk losing this. His arms encircled the Vulcan's neck, seeking with touch to confirm the warm, solid reality of the man.  
The words of an old proverb flitted across his mind. 'Take what you want - and pay for it.' He wanted this - god, how he wanted it - and no price was too high. It suddenly seemed that the act of submission was unimportant after all if it gained him this sense of security, of being... wanted; only Spock would ever know what he had done, and the Vulcan would not boast of his conquest - the instinct to shield his mate was too strong. He could have what he wanted - what they both wanted - and his secret would be safe... The decision consciously taken at last, a sense of utter relief filled him; the last of his resistance drained from his body, and he relaxed totally against Spock.

  
A dizzying surge of triumph swept through the Vulcan at the almost imperceptible movement; Kirk was his now. Slowly, his arms closed about his willing victim, his hands tracing a pattern of caresses over the strong back, weaving a lazy web of sensuality and pleasure. The time for passion, for the unleashing of their mutual lust, would come later; let Kirk have the tenderness he unconsciously craved - and that he himself longed to give to this stubborn, lonely man. Once he had known Kirk, the Human would return to him again and again, unable to resist... Yes, let him know himself loved - later he would experience the fires of unleashed lust.

  
Spock watched Kirk's face as he allowed his hands to drift lower. Kirk stood with eyes closed, lips half parted, his breath coming in short, excited gasps, moaning softly as the fingers curved to cup the swell of his buttocks. Such an open response did not surprise Spock - after all, he was an experienced and knowledgeable seducer, he had Kirk's consent, and the Human was a very sensual being - but he knew that it was not yet complete. Even now, if Kirk was given time to fear his own response, he might draw back - but it would not be long before he was too aroused to care, if the swelling against his thigh was any indication of the Human's growing arousal.

  
Spock continued the caresses, as though reassuring a spirited, nervous horse, rhythmically squeezing the soft flesh of the buttocks. He moved slightly, allowing Kirk to feel his own rising need; the Human froze under his hands, but he did not pull away and after a moment he relaxed again, turning his hips so that the two swelling organs met.

  
It was Spock who drew away a few moments later, with a parting kiss. Holding the Human's gaze with his own he began to unfasten the gold shirt, slipping it off the broad shoulders and allowing it to fall unheeded to the floor. Reaching out, he rubbed his thumb across one of the small bronze nipples, feeling it swell to his touch. Unable to resist, he dropped his head to lick at it, savouring the feel of the hardness against his tongue; when he looked up again Kirk was watching him questioningly.

  
"You are beautiful," he said simply.

  
Kirk smiled, a fleeting reply that was heart-breaking in its unfamiliar sweetness. "May I...?" He half lifted his hands to the neck of Spock's tunic.

  
The Vulcan leaned forward slightly, and Kirk carefully unfastened the blue silk, removing it and unwinding the black scarf. For a few moments he said nothing, merely studied the lean body, then he raised his hand and carefully touched the dark hair of the chest, following the trail down almost to Spock's waist before snatching his hand away quickly. "You... don't like to be touched...?" His tone made it a question.

  
"I have long craved your touch," Spock replied slowly.

  
Their eyes met again, and both knew that this was the moment of final decision. Spock kept his gaze on the Human as he reached for the fastening of Kirk's trousers, alert for any sign of rejection.

  
Kirk drew in his breath, closed his eyes for an instant, then opened them again. "I trust you," he admitted painfully. "God help me, I trust you."

  
Spock nodded and completed his task, pushing aside the folds of cloth and slipping his hand inside to touch the Human's genitals. Kirk's penis stirred in the warmth of his hand, pushing against his palm; he cupped it, massaging with slow, gentle movements as he leaned forward to nuzzle the base of the Human's throat.

  
Kirk clutched the Vulcan's shoulders as a dizzying wave of pleasure overwhelmed him. He knew that he was trembling like an adolescent, that the betraying colour flamed in his face, but he couldn't seem to care - he only wanted more, wanted those hands on his body, wanted...

  
Reluctantly, Spock withdrew his hand and pushed Kirk's trousers and briefs down over his hips. Kirk co-operated by kicking them off with his boots so that he stood naked. The Vulcan drew a long breath of appreciation as he studied the play of firelight and shade over the nude body. Kirk looked like some exotic creature from myth, the flames striking highlights in his hair, feeding the hunger that was beginning to grow in the expressive eyes. Spock's arousal grew more intense; he hoped desperately that Kirk would not take fright for he knew that he would not permit it - he was too fiercely aroused to accept a refusal now. However, the Human showed no reluctance, and, despite his need, Spock was able to maintain the slow, gentle advances he had calculated would not startle the inexperienced Kirk. At last, judging that the moment was right, he took Kirk's hands and urged him down onto the fur-strewn couch. Quickly stripping off his own clothes he came to stand over the Human.

  
Kirk looked up, studying the lean body, his eyes flickering quickly away from the half erect penis. It looked strangely alien, with that double-ridged head, and its size gave him a moment's unease. Not that it was any larger than his own, he told himself, but he had never considered himself small, and he had certainly never thought that he would feel something like that up his ass. He wondered if it would hurt, and gained some reassurance from the sight of the tube of cream Spock took from the bedside table - at least the Vulcan was making some preparations.

  
Spock slid onto the bed and leaned over Kirk, seeking his mouth; the Human slid his arms around the bare shoulders, closing his eyes as he savoured the kiss. Moved by the man's trust, Spock used all his skill to arouse Kirk to an almost painful extremity of desire, kissing, licking, stroking every inch of the responsive body. He feasted on the swollen nipples, nipping at each in turn while his hands roved through the soft hair. Gradually he worked his way down the chest and belly, licking at the navel and probing it with his tongue. Kirk's hips began to thrust in an awkward rhythm, and he stroked the silky flesh of the inner thighs, until he sensed that the Human had almost reached the limit of his endurance.

  
Spock enjoyed the anticipation a little longer, but at last he could not resist. He bent his head to touch the throbbing organ, feeling it pulse against his lips with a demanding urgency; his tongue reached to the scarlet head, carefully lifting the drop of glistening fluid there, his mind reeling as the sweet/salt, musky taste of Kirk filled his mouth.

  
At the touch of the rough wet tongue Kirk gave a cry of mingled frustration and pleasure, his back arching so that his aching penis slid between willing lips into the wet heat of Spock's mouth.

  
"Yes... oh yes... suck me;" he panted, burying his fingers in the mess of silky hair that brushed his groin. "Let me feel you... make me come."

  
Nothing could have stopped Spock then. He began to suck at the thrusting penis, raking it lightly with his teeth, careful not to hurt; the engorged flesh swelled even more, filling his mouth, and with a deliberate effort of will he relaxed the muscles of his throat, taking Kirk so deeply that his face was buried in the crisp golden curls of the Human's groin.

  
This was not quite as custom demanded, Spock realised. Strict observance of the old laws demanded that Kirk satisfy him in all ways before being granted his own release. However, it seemed to Spock that this was the better way, acknowledging the Human's needs and fulfilling them before the final submission was demanded. Moreover, experience with male lovers had taught him that he would achieve a deeper, less painful penetration if Kirk had first been relaxed by the catharsis of orgasm.

  
Kirk's head was tossing wildly on the pillow, harsh moans issuing from his throat as his hips lifted in response to the demanding suction that seemed to be turning his insides to molten lava and drawing them to one mounting pressure that must be released if he was not to scream his frustration. He could feel it building, growing. He could not hold back... Then the scream he had bitten back for so long rang harshly in his ears as he came, the semen flooding from him as his spine arched in a final spasm of unendurable ecstasy.

  
When Kirk opened his eyes at last Spock was kneeling between his spread thighs, his gaze fixed intently on his lover's face. The sinuous tongue emerged to lick the last traces of semen from around his mouth, and his eyes glowed with a satisfaction that Kirk had never before seen in the velvet depths.

  
"Spock?"

  
The question Kirk could not ask was there in his eyes, and the Vulcan smiled slightly

.  
"Jim, you are a joy and a delight." The deep voice was not quite steady. "May I not show you?"

  
A lean hand reached for his face, fingers spread for the meld, not quite touching.

  
"Please... no... " Kirk drew back. He wanted the meld, but something in him, some as yet unconquered trace of arrogance, bade him refuse. He was willing, more than willing, but Spock must not know how much he now wanted this. He had given his body to the Vulcan, but his mind... No, there were some secrets he must keep...  
"I... can't. Please don't."

  
"Too much too soon. I understand." The meld was customary, but not essential. The hand reached to brush Kirk's hair. "It is not necessary, t'hy'la. Yet one day I hope to share the joy with you."

  
Kirk sighed as he caught the hand and kissed it. Instinct told him that sex while linked in a meld would be glorious, but he dared not reveal his ignorance. With a woman he would have been confident enough, but his pride would not allow him to reveal his vulnerability, his lack of knowledge. One day, perhaps, he would accept and welcome the meld... if he could ever allow anyone so much power over him. For the moment this physical submission was all he could give, and it comforted him that Spock understood.

  
Even without the link, Spock followed the Human's thoughts in the changing expressions on the vital face. He hungered for light mental contact, but that too would come later. He would not risk what he had already won in an impatient demand for something the Human was not yet ready to give. And... what was offered was so much more than he had ever dared to dream he would win...

  
The dark eyes narrowed in concentration as Spock carefully placed a pillow under Kirk's hips, raising his body so that the Human was fully exposed. His hands stroked the soft flesh of the thighs as he spread them wide apart, kneeling between them, and Kirk sighed and relaxed under the soothing touch. He distracted Kirk with a lingering kiss while he reached for the cream and filled his hands, spreading the silky stuff lavishly between Kirk's buttocks.

  
Such a fragile defence for this tender flesh, Spock thought as he rubbed gently at the tightly-clenched ring of muscle; Kirk's much-vaunted strength was as that of a child in comparison to his own. It would be so easy to force his way into that virgin flesh, to rip, to tear, to take what he wanted. Easy... and fatal to his hopes of ever winning the response he wanted from Kirk, for the Human would never forgive such a violation.

  
Gradually his probing fingertips sensed a relaxation of the barrier. Kirk gave a shuddering sigh as one finger slipped inside him, a strange but not uncomfortable feeling as it pressed firmly against the walls of his rectum.

  
Gods, but the Human was tight! Spock groaned in anticipation of how that tight sheath would feel around his throbbing penis. With some difficulty he manoeuvred a second finger inside, distracting Kirk from the momentary discomfort by leaning forward to lick at the limp penis, feeling it stir under his tongue. Once inside, he moved carefully, seeking out the area of maximum sensitivity and stimulating it carefully. Kirk gasped, tightening his anal muscles around the fingers, then he relaxed as they began to circle inside him, thrusting deeper to spread the cream as they dilated the now-yielding rectum.

"God... Spock... " Kirk moaned softly, his head tossing on the pillow as he clutched frantically at the bedding. "I can't... please... do it now!"

  
The Vulcan drew a deep breath, forcing control on his raging hunger. He withdrew his fingers and held the now fully dilated aperture open while with his free hand he guided his cock to press against the pulsing, rosy-pink flesh. More cream, then with agonising care he eased the head of his cock inside, almost losing his fragile control as the cool tightness of Kirk's anus clamped around him. Slowly he pressed forward, and felt his rigid flesh slide deeper.

  
Kirk gave a harsh sob. "Wait... please... " Unnoticed, tears trickled from his wide-open eyes as he fought for breath.

  
The longest few seconds of Spock's life crawled past as he held himself immobile, praying to the ancient Warrior Gods that Kirk would not fight him now. A light meld would have eased the Human's pain, but he would not enforce it - and soon, very soon now, the discomfort would be overwhelmed by the pleasure he would give his apprehensive lover.'

  
At last Kirk sighed. "Go ahead," he whispered hoarsely. His eyes met Spock's, strangely vulnerable as he gave a small smile. "Don't stop again, no matter what I say," he continued almost shyly. "I do want this, Spock... "

  
Gently the Vulcan traced the full lips with his fingertip, then he grasped the Human's hips and pressed forward, slowly and relentlessly burying himself to the hilt in the cool flesh.

  
"Keep your eyes on mine," he ordered as Kirk seemed about to close his eyes. "Watch me - watch my face. I want to see your eyes when I come inside you."  
Kirk gave a low groan, his hips writhing as he undulated on the bed, unsure himself whether he was struggling to evade the rigid probe or to impale himself even further onto its hard heat. He lay still, exploring the strange sensations; the swollen bulk still filled him, seeming to extend far beyond the tight confines of his rectum to touch every part of his shivering body. Surely the pulse beating at the base of his throat was the tip of the Vulcan's cock? His greatest fear was reality - he lay helpless, possessed, his body entered by another male... but his fear had vanished, annihilated in the tender compassion Spock had shown him. In his own experience, he had seduced more than one virgin, and knew that he had never been so gentle. It should have been shameful, humiliating, to be treated with such tenderness by this powerful, dominant male, but that treacherous being inside him that lost, lonely, love-starved child he had never quite managed to destroy, revelled in the outpouring of love and passion that was so freely offered to him.

  
Then, deep inside his body, the most exquisite sensations began, teasing him with the promise of unendurable pleasure. A vivid image came to him of the jade-green cock buried inside him, and he knew that the double ridges of the head were stirring in their own independent caress, stimulating the ultra-sensitive tissues of his body. The thought was overwhelmingly erotic; Spock, while remaining perfectly still, was able to produce these glorious sensations.

  
Suddenly Kirk was filled with an almost desperate desire to experience this possession fully. That well-hidden part of his nature broke free, claiming its right, demanding to know how it would feel to have Spock thrusting into him, his semen spilling its sticky heat into his body...

  
Kirk looked up, the hazel eyes glowing with forbidden hunger. "Fuck me, Spock," he demanded hoarsely. "Come on - fuck me. You want it... and god help me, so do I. I want to feel you come in me."

  
The Vulcan could resist no longer. Slowly at first, then with increasing force, he began to thrust into the cool flesh, moaning with delight as Kirk surged to meet him, his hips rising and falling in uninhibited response. As climax neared Spock took the Human's face between his hands, holding the almost drugged golden eyes with his own, avidly studying Kirk's reactions as the hot, thick semen pumped into him. As he spiralled slowly down from the dizzy heights of pleasure, Spock felt a stickiness on his thighs and belly that told him - incredible as it seemed - that Kirk too had climaxed. Moved beyond words by this proof of the Human's total surrender, he reached forward to kiss the swollen lips.

  
"Did I hurt you?" he asked softly, stroking the smooth cheek.

  
"No, there was no pain. At least, if there was, I don't remember. I feel... God, Spock, it was marvellous!"

  
A shy smile lit the flushed face, and Spock caught his breath. The arrogant, confident Kirk was so terribly vulnerable at this moment... Spock could destroy him now with one contemptuous remark... Instead he withdrew carefully from the still-quivering body and pulled Kirk against him, gently stroking from shoulder to thigh. "T'hy'la, I thank you, my Shieldmate. I have long had need of you. No other can fully satisfy me - you are necessary to my peace."

  
It was, perhaps, something of a risk to say so much - Kirk's rare moments of tenderness and compassion were so often spoiled by a deliberate, self-conscious cynicism, as though he feared to show any sign of weakness. This time, however, the golden eyes were clear and candid as a child's.

  
"I... enjoyed that, Spock," he said quietly. "I think - I'm sure - I want it again. But remember... " a hand closed on his shoulder, "I'll never admit to that outside this room. I don't even know how long I'll feel this way. But - for what it's worth - right now I think I love you."

  
Satisfied, Spock took the willing lips again. The Human's mouth was still soft, yielding, but now there was curiosity in the probing tongue, the first stirring of desire in the relaxed body. Spock settled the fair head on his shoulder.

  
"Rest, t'hy'la. There is more to learn and to feel, but for now, rest."

  
With a low murmur of agreement Kirk settled closer, throwing a possessive arm around the Vulcan's waist. Dreams and plans moved languidly through his drowsy mind. He had given the submission Spock had demanded, and yes, it had been worthwhile; but the passive role was not for him - not for long. He knew only too well how to use his body, his charm, to gain what he wanted; given time he would claim this same surrender from Spock. It was necessary - wasn't it? - that he retain command... and yet submission had been... curiously pleasant... With a faint sigh he closed his eyes in sleep.

  
Even unmelded, Spock followed the Human's thoughts, and a slow smile touched his lips. Kirk still had much to learn of the way of a Vulcan with his mate. He had given his body, but refused the bond; that would not be permitted forever. For the sake of the Human's pride Spock would grant him time, but eventually he would claim his mate fully.

  
Content for the moment with what he had achieved, Spock gathered the Human closer, kissing the sleep-softened lips, smiling as Kirk moved closer; then, cradling his lover in his arms, he lay back, feeling no need of rest himself as he enjoyed the simple but compelling pleasure of watching his sleeping mate.


End file.
